RIP Princess Zoe

Well I didn't sleep well last night thinking about how E was going to take it and how I was going to tell her...So I took her to school and thought I should go get her about 1 to break the news to her.
I took a much needed nap and left to get her from school.I had a lump in my throat when she saw how happy she was when she saw me picking her up early from school.She hugged her teachers *who already knew* and skipped down the hall singing and laughing because she thought it was fun leaving early.
We went to Sonic to get a milkshake and she thought it was great.She told me how happy she was to see me and that she was so proud that she got to leave before her school friends woke up from nap.And how much she loves me.
I drove home teary eyed knowing what I had to do and say.This job sucks I must say.
We enjoyed our treat and watched Megan Joy be kicked off of American Idol..*YAY!!* Then she wanted to watch some of her tv.I told her I had to talk to her.She crawled in my lap and snuggled with me and was wanting to go again.I said ... E Mommie has to tell you something.*bring on the tears* ... Princess Zoe passed away last night.She looked at me and just smiled.She said .. Mommie are you kidding me..? I said no baby Mommie is serious.She looked over at her house and the tears came! She said OH MOMMIE...I am sssssssooooo sad right now!So we cuddled and played 101 questions of why,how,was she murdered and where was she.
So I told her she wasn't murdered but she went to sleep and didn't wake up.She said she wanted to see her.I told her she could help me bury her in the back yard.MORE TEARS.So we got up and I got the new bag of pink blue and yellow fluff out.And there she was still lifeless as I took the cage apart.I was hoping it was all a dream....BAWLING now...OOH Princess Zoe..I love you !! So she said can I pick her up..I told her yes.She did and cuddled her in her hands.And said Mommie I am very sad.I told her I was too.So we got Es empty girl scout cookie box and put fluff on the bottom...she put Princess Zoe in and we put the rest.She cried..I cried..
We got our shoes on and went out to bury her.E picked the spot..I dug the hole.She said Mommie I am going to put her in easy so she doesn't get hurt.And please put the dirt on her easy so she is ok.We did.E said a prayer...Dear Lord Please keep Princess Zoe safe Amen...She got 2 dandelions to put on the fresh dirt grave because Princess Zoe loves those flowers *according to E*.And we came in.
She went to wash her hands and ran off WAILING .... THIS IS HORRIBLE MOMMIE..JUST HORRIBLE! So she in there washing up crying.
We snuggled a little more and she was worried about Nayla and the girls and fish now dying...SIGH I told her hopefully they will be around for a long time.She asked about getting another hamster and I had to tell her not right now.I said E we don't want to get another one to replace her.So we will wait a while and then decide if you want another one.We don't get more pets when one passes on.We remember them for a while until the sadness goes away then we get new ones when we are ready.You can't replace pets after they pass away.She said she understood.So I hope that I taught her a valueable lesson about life and she remembers the fun and laughs with Princess Zoe and she isn't going to be replaced .. just a new friend will be brought into our house when the time is right and we will never forget her.I hope I did right by letting her hold her and help out with burying her.She wanted to .I think that was very brave for a 4 yr old who hasn't had to face this before....
Now I have to put away the Princess cage....And get ready to go see the Wizard of Oz..Maybe that will bring a smile to this rather gloomy day.