Missing Daddy Today

Today ... My Daddy has been gone for 6 years.Where did the time go?Why can't I have it back and have him here celebrating Erinlee's first day of school with us?And watching her grow up?
I know time is suppose to ease the pain but it doesn't seem to.
I was at peace with him and I am glad that he lingered at the airport before his flight.At the time I wish I would have known because I would have said so much more.I did say I love you and gave him a huge hug and kiss and told him I would call him when my flight returned me back home too.But that call never happened.He did call my house and left a message on the answering machine that Brandon kept for when I got back home and I deleted it after I listened to it.Only if I had known.
August is such a roller coaster of emotions for me...I don't know why everything centers around August but it has in the last few years.
I know in my heart that the only reason we have Erinlee is because he put in a good word for us and the Lord had to take someone to give someone life.I truly believe that the reason Erinlee is with us is because of him.When I found out I was pregnant I had a dream and it was about my Daddy's favorite song Desperado.I was in a car with younger girls who were playing it and singing along to it.I told them they were too young to know that song and they said no they weren't and they loved it.I woke up and told Brandon that either the baby was going to be due on my Daddy's birthday or the day he passed away *we did not at the time know how far along I was* and she was due August 8th.2 days after he had passed away the year before.Coincidence...I don't think so.The Lord works in mysterious ways and this is one of them.He was the only one who knew we had been TTC and hadn't had any luck.She also has blue eyes and LOVES pepper.Also traits from my Daddy.
Even though he isn't here with us physically I believe he will always be here in spirit.

I love you Daddy